I suck at compassion. It’s the hardest thing for me to grasp and I am someone who enjoys investigating my uncomfortable feelings, and usually the more painful, gut wrenching the better – I love the clarity it brings and there is always some new truth buried under all the muck that I want to reveal. But compassion is one of those emotions that has gum stuck to the bottom of it and I avoided dealing with it, yet with something so important – the wound needed to eventually surface and let the healing begin.
As I sit quarrelling with Adam over how I am to negotiate my way through a land of, in my terms – lower conscious thinkers. Some people having been disconnected from their inner guidance for so long that, as a new friend termed it – a lack of awareness.
Adam would debate that having a lack of something is a good starting point, we must empty ourselves before we can be refilled.
Now, we’ve discussed this before – we are all guided but – IT IS OUR CHOICE whether we listen and follow the advice or not. I still wonder if I correctly followed Adam’s advice because why in the hell am I in this broken down cabin in the middle of nowhere.
I realize that the feelings that I am having are temporary, they never last long and just like the things I left behind when I started this journey – I can only carry the weight of that which is valuable.
Consider what you hold onto, your beliefs, the conditions of your life, are they worth their weight, would you be willing to carry it on your back.
That and those for whom I have such discontent is the part of me that I need to have learn to be compassionate, there are those things I detest most that I see now that are in me and right at the surface, they are not even buried anymore. While I consider myself lucky to have such a companion as Adam to guide me along the way, I was once not so fortunate and just needed to be loved, to be reminded of only the good that I have done in my life, to be celebrated and to let myself receive. I needed compassion.
Compassion – My Truth: I will love that which I find ugly, I will hold that which looks painful and could hurt me, I will walk each step with a spiritual viewpoint.
From my heart,